jenna orkin

just got back from a hearing on the west side stadium, a raucous event that should make lmdc grateful for our civility. 

during one presentation, carolers burst into a satirical form of Jingle Bells that was so loud, I couldn't tell if it was pro or con.  during another, a man held up a 'no stadium' shirt on his two metal crutches.  three other statements were drowned out by roars from both sides.

sitting behind a pair of virtuoso hecklers, i jotted down some highlights:

a woman who'd started her testimony by saying she wanted to get home in time for 'The Apprentice,' complained that the American Societies of Oncologists, Radiologists and Cardiologists had all gone to other cities for their conventions.

"We had the Republicans," a number of rebels responded.

"Go home," shouted my neighbors.  "You're missing 'The Apprentice.'"

then a local architect spoke in favor of the stadium.

"Was your firm the low bidder?" retorted the two Groucho Marxes.

The MC asked the two women to sit at the back of the hall.

"We'll be just as loud," they shouted. 

The MC dropped the subject because their point was so obviously true.

One speaker said he represented the only newspaper published by a homeless person.  Did you know that with respect to the homeless, New York is the sixth meanest city in the country?  Little Rock is number one.  But Dallas is nine places ahead of us in niceness.

A woman who has a Master's and a law degree and is on the verge of getting a Ph.D. said she'd also done time at a homeless shelter for people over 45 which she shared with several other Ph.D's and an MBA from Wharton.

after 38 minutes Charles Gargano, the Chairman of Empire State Development Corp, left the hearing.  this was commented on by a number of speakers one of whom observed, "Charles Gargano doesn't have the testicular fortitude to listen to the people who pay for his hairweave."